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| Tookey's Review |
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| Pro Reviews |
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| Mixed Reviews |
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| Cast |
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| Released: |
2001 |
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| Genre: |
ACTION
SWASHBUCKLER
ADVENTURE
SO BAD
COSTUME
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| Origin: |
US/ Germany |
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| Colour: |
C |
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| Length: |
105 |
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A spectacularly insane attempt to graft incongruous martial-arts techniques on to Dumas' seventeenth-century swashbuckler, The Three Musketeers.
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Reviewed by Chris Tookey
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As D'Artagnan, the awesomely wooden, utterly charmless Justin Chambers (pictured left) makes a determined bid for the title Worst Actor on the Planet; and his co-star, Mena Suvari (pictured right), seems equally bent on the title Worst Actress. And as for poor, lugubrious Stephen Rea struggling to play the scheming, dynamic Cardinal Richelieu, it's as painful to watch as Gazza mimicking Sven-Goran Erickson.
Catherine Deneuve turns up as the French Queen Mother, and looks as though she has a nasty smell under her nose. This might be the moronic script but could equally well be the supporting cast, who are beyond woeful, in a startling variety of ways and accents. Tim Roth, who once had a career, turns up as principal villain with a glass eye instead of a performance.
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Director-cinematographer Peter Hyams must be thinking nostalgically of the days when he was offered the chance to do classy stuff with proper actors, such as Jean-Claude Van Damme.
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, Febre: Tim Roth, Francesca: Mena Suvari 