|
|
| Tookey's Review |
|
| Pro Reviews |
|
| Mixed Reviews |
|
| Anti Reviews |
|
| Cast |
|
| |
 |
| |
| Released: |
2011 |
| |
|
| Genre: |
ACTION
SWASHBUCKLER
ADVENTURE
REMAKE
THRILLER
COSTUME
|
| |
|
| Origin: |
Germany/ UK/ France |
| |
|
| Length: |
110 |
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
There have been at least twenty film versions of Alexandre Dumas’s swashbuckler Three Musketeers, with Richard Lester’s 1973 romp usually regarded as the best. Paul W.S.Anderson’s new remake must be the lousiest.
|
Reviewed by Chris Tookey
|
This is partly down to the screenplay, a wretched mixture of poorly written exposition and unfunny comedy. James Corden, currently amusing audiences in the theatre, is so dismal here that I kept wishing someone would guillotine him.
Andrew Davies, a master of period drama on TV, is credited as co-writer, but I can’t believe any of his dialogue has reached the screen. In the ultimate in hubris, the movie even cheats us of a decent ending and threatens us instead with a sequel.
Previously reliable actors such as Christoph Waltz (as the scheming Cardinal Richelieu), Matthew MacFadyen (as the disillusioned musketeer Athos) and Mads Mikkelson (as the one-eyed Rochefort) seem content to take the money and look vaguely embarrassed.
Inferior thesps such as Logan Lerman (a colourless, surfer-dude D’Artagnan, pictured), the director’s wife Milla Jovovich (vapid when she should be mysterious) and Orlando Bloom (a useless drip as the dastardly Buckingham) give performances that would get them drummed out of the average school play.
Saving graces include the lavish costumes, widescreen photography and French architecture, even though the film was shot in Germany; but, sadly, the feel of the film owes more to steampunk comic strips, the game Assassin’s Creed and lacklustre sequels to Pirates of the Caribbean.
Low-quality 3D and phoney CGI diminish the excitement still further.
Anderson’s previous offences against cinema include Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil and Death Race. In view of the classic source material that this vandalises, The Three Musketeers is his most regrettable atrocity yet.
|
|
|
, Logan Lerman 