movie film review | chris tookey

Eight Legged Freaks

  Eight Legged Freaks Review
Tookey's Rating
8 /10
Average Rating
6.20 /10
Chris McCormack: David Arquette, Sheriff Sam Parker: Kari Wuhrer, Mike Parker: Scott Terra
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Directed by: Ellory Elkayem
Written by: Ellory Elkayem and Jesse Alexander

Released: 2002
Origin: US
Colour: C
Length: 99

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A film bad on purpose is still a bad film.

(Kevin Laforest, Montreal Film Journal)

All we get is a bunch of similar, giant spider monsters attacking people we could care less about.

(David Levine,

It's crap on a leash - far too polite to scale the lunatic heights of Joe Dante's similarly styled Gremlins.

(Sean Burns, Philadelphia Weekly)

Eight Legged Freaks falls flat as a spoof.

(Ray Conlogue, Globe and Mail)

These spiders can outrun a motorcycle and wrap a person in a sticky cocoon in seconds, but they fall short of being interesting or entertaining.

(Cherryl Dawson and Leigh Ann Palone,

Too silly to be frightening, too stolid to be funny, it projects the same lazy affability as its nominal star, David Arquette.

(Mike D'Angelo, Time Out New York)

Arquette makes for a thoroughly boorish hero, his delirious 'They're here! They're here!' outcry suggestive of the film's failed potential.

(Ed Gonzalez, Slant Magazine)

Arquette simply doesn't have the personality of someone we can root for as a protagonist. He somehow always tends to look like he's just discarded a spent pot pipe.

(Mervius, Fantastica Daily)

The trouble is, its filmmakers run out of clever ideas and visual gags about halfway through.

(Kirk Honeycutt, Hollywood Reporter)

This is a poster movie, a mediocre tribute to films like Them!

(Desson Howe, Washington Post)

Not scary enough to work as a straight-up horror flick and nowhere near funny enough to be a passable spoof.

(Moira MacDonald, Seattle Times)

Like many of the worst pop-referential parodies of the post-Scream era, this one stalls on laughs once the big joke has been established.

(Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly)

A hyphen isn't the only thing missing from Eight Legged Freaks. Wit and imagination have joined that AWOL punctuation mark, perhaps in the same place where socks go when they vanish from your dryer.

(Charles Taylor,

Not nearly as savvy a send-up of the genre as it thinks it is.

(Dustin Putman,

So crummy that you might feel like squishing it underfoot when it's over.

(Frank Swietek, ONE GUY'S OPINION)


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