movie film review | chris tookey
harsh reviews
An A to Z of the World's Deadliest Movie Reviews From Affleck
to Zeta Jones
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Frank Cottrell Boyce
Writer, Pandaemonium (2001)
The abject screenplay by Frank Cottrell Boyce takes a preposterously philistine view of one of Britain's greatest poets. Boyce's thesis is that Wordsworth was a talentless hack who pinched all his best ideas from his lovable dope-fiend mate Sam Coleridge and William's foolishly supportive sister Dorothy. The most treasurably trashy moment comes when William is agonizing over a first line for his latest creation. "I wandered lonely as a cow," he begins. "Perhaps," Dorothy suggests gently, "cloud would be better, William?" Such moments carry overtones of Monty Python, and if Pandaemonium could have kept up this quality of direness it might have ended up as enjoyably terrible. However, there is a deadly seriousness to the rest of its seemingly interminable two hours. This film is appalling and a travesty of history. It is also very, very silly.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Writer, Revengers Tragedy (2003)
Frank Cottrell Boyce's screenplay is beyond hopeless, a cretinous combination of ancient and post-modern. Perhaps a video of Derek Jarman's Jubilee fell on his head at an impressionable age. The collision between period English and modern swearwords is particularly ill-judged, reducing to facetious camp whatever drama there might have been.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
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