movie film review | chris tookey
harsh reviews
An A to Z of the World's Deadliest Movie Reviews From Affleck
to Zeta Jones
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 
Javier Bardem
Actor, Love in the Time of Cholera (2007)
Javier Bardem can be a completely terrible actor. With his dreamy, fish-eyed gaze and purring voice, he is unbearably mannered and self-conscious; his mouth is habitually pursed in a little smirk, sometimes archly knowing, sometimes seraphically accepting; it makes you want to slap him. In No Country for Old Men, everyone thought that his coiffure represented an unbeatable low in screen hair. Wrong. Bardemís moustache in this film, with its dandy little twists at either end, is just as repulsive, but it isnít supposed to be. A string of female co-stars actually have to kiss him while this loathsome thing is nestling on his upper lip, without screeching or throwing up... [The film is] smug and tacky and dull: a softcore Captain Corelli. A film to be strictly quarantined.
(Peter Bradshaw, Guardian)
Key to Symbols