movie film review | chris tookey
 
harsh reviews
An A to Z of the World's Deadliest Movie Reviews From Affleck
to Zeta Jones
SELECT VICTIMS BY INITIAL LETTER OF SURNAME
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 
Tom Hanks
Actor, The Polar Express (2004)
Forget Christmas cheer - kids will run screaming from The Polar Express after seeing Tom Hanks looking like he's been killed, embalmed and resurrected by lightening.
(Stella Papamichael, BBCi)
Actor, The Da Vinci Code (2006)
Tom Hanks was a zombie.
(Peter Brunette, Boston Globe)
Sadly, the normally reliable Tom Hanks is at his most reserved, stiff and undignified, thanks to the presence on his head of a mullet hairstyle that resembles something Chris Waddle might have ill-advisedly tried out in his football-playing prime.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Actor, Angels & Demons (2009)
Tom Hanks’ haircut has improved since the first movie, but God only knows why he wished to extend the agony of his dreadful initial performance. The wise decision to leave out Brown’s sleazy sexual sub-plot between his hero and a pretty physicist (ineffectively played by Israeli actress Ayelet Zurer) has the undesirable side-effect of leaving Langdon with no personality whatsoever. His fear of enclosed spaces – so laboriously set up in The Da Vinci Code – seems abruptly to have vanished, which is lucky for him but baffling for the rest of us. His one character quirk is his Mickey Mouse watch, which he glances at from time to time, though far less frequently than I looked at mine.
(Chris Tookey Daily Mail)
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