movie film review | chris tookey
 
harsh reviews
An A to Z of the World's Deadliest Movie Reviews From Affleck
to Zeta Jones
SELECT VICTIMS BY INITIAL LETTER OF SURNAME
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 
Edward Burns
Writer, Director, Actor, She’s The One (1997)
Burns's methodology is to place himself and geeky-looking co-star Mike McGlone at the centre of a film so they can talk about their problems with girls. Hence we're asked to believe
scenes in which superbabes Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz plead to have sex with these boring, ugly guys who have the most tragic hairdos in the history of coiffing. As if.
(Anne Billson, Sunday Telegraph)
Actor, Writer, Director, Ash Wednesday (2002)
This time Mr. Burns is trying something in the Martin Scorsese street-realist mode, but his self-regarding sentimentality trips him up again.
(Dave Kehr, New York Times)
There ought to be a directing license, so that Ed Burns can have his revoked.
(Mark Olsen, LA Weekly)
If Burns wants to give up something for Lent, directing mightn’t be a bad place to start.
(Jason Solomons, Mail on Sunday)
It’s cheaper if you write, produce, direct and star in your own movie. But not always wiser... Oddly unsatisfying, as if Burns is either doing too much, or to little.
(Derek Malcolm, Guardian)
Cinema has given us many epic love affairs: Bogey and Bacall, Hepburn and Tracey, Ed Burns and Ed Burns. Yes, the hunky Irish-American’s self-infatuation shows little sign of cooling off, and this latest love-letter has the usual signatures: pouty close-ups, tight T-shirts, women who reach for the razor the moment he leaves the room.
(Catherine Shoard, Sunday Telegraph)
Having got his hands on a hefty load of biblical themes, Burns proves himself completely unequipped to handle them. The dialogue is stilted and heavy with exposition, and the plot is ridiculous. Burns’s self-importance is on show throughout, but hits an unprecedented peak in the final scene, where Francis just happens to fall into a crucified pose at the moment of his supreme sacrifice.
(Edward Porter, Sunday Times)
Actor, Life or Something Like It (2002)
Smugger and more irritating than ever.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Actor, Confidence (2003)
As for Ed Burns, I used to hope he'd concentrate on acting because then he'd direct fewer movies. But I can avoid the movies he directs, whereas he shows up as an actor in movies I want to see. What a hard call.
(David Edelstein, Slant)
Burns is as bland as ever playing the wily con-man we’re supposed to root for.
(Edward Porter, Sunday Times)
Any film that begins with Edward Burns dead has got off to a pretty good start, but the prospect of being spared the actor’s vain whining for a couple of hours, like everything else in this snappy, perfectly watchable, irritatingly self-satisfied scam flick, proves illusory.
(Tim Robey, Daily Telegraph)
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