movie film review | chris tookey
 
harsh reviews
An A to Z of the World's Deadliest Movie Reviews From Affleck
to Zeta Jones
SELECT VICTIMS BY INITIAL LETTER OF SURNAME
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 
Jessica Alba
Actress, Honey (2003)
The biggest problem by far is Honey herself - a sort of cheapo Britney Spears by way of Mother Teresa who’s just so damn helpful (“I didn’t need that money for me, I needed it for the children”) that by the end you’re almost praying for her to slip a disc.
(Catherine Shoard, Sunday Telegraph)
Actress, Fantastic Four (2005)
The weak, uneven nature of the story isn't helped by the miscasting of two of the five major roles. As adorable as she may be, Jessica Alba is not right for Sue Storm, a.k.a. Invisible Girl. This is the worst portrayal of a female scientist since Denise Richards tried it in The World Is Not Enough... She's not convincing. She delivers her lines like she's reading them off cue cards. I would normally call Alba wooden, but her body moves with such fluidity that it's unfair in this case.
(James Berardinelli, Reelviews)
Even if you can get past the acting - and in the case of the beautiful, blank Alba, that's asking a lot - the film just sits there, not exactly torturous, but never very exciting, either.
(Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald)
The Invisible Woman (Jessica Alba) is, paradoxically, good only to look at: when she opens her mouth to speak, it’s clear that she should have been called The Woman With No Visible Charisma.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Actress, Into the Blue (2005)
Jessica Alba may be one of the hottest young things working in Hollywood, but she can't act. This year, she has appeared in a trio of movies (the previous two were Sin City and The Fantastic Four), and has failed to show any noteworthy thespian skills.
(James Berardinelli, Reelviews)
Actress, The Eye (2008)
The most frightening aspect of The Eye is Jessica Alba’s continuing inability to act.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
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