movie film review | chris tookey
 
harsh reviews
An A to Z of the World's Deadliest Movie Reviews From Affleck
to Zeta Jones
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William Dafoe
Actor, Speed 2 – Cruise Control (1997)
Like Dennis Hopper in the first movie, Willem Dafoe is harbouring a grudge - not against the Los Angeles Police Department this time, but against the cruise line that used to employ him as a computer genius. Long exposure to electromagnetic fields has, we are told, given him copper poisoning. We’re not told if this is fatal or not, but it causes Dafoe to open his eyes very wide and cackle maniacally, so it evidently has disastrous effects on your inhibitions.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Actor, The Reckoning (2004)
Did you know Hollywood star Willem Dafoe can stand on his hands? While at the same time tipping his legs bendily forward? You’ll certainly know by the end of the movie, because they are skills the muscly old showoff repeatedly demonstrates, bringing the story to a halt while he does so. He can also do an English accent that sounds like he spent his formative years commuting by helicopter between Belfast and Hove.
(Peter Bradshaw, Guardian)
Whole new scenes seem to have been added simply to show Dafoe’s talent for contortion. It’s grotesquely impressive, but you can’t help but wonder whether his time might have been better spent working on his accent, or at least deciding on one.
(Catherine Shoard, Sunday Telegraph)
Willem Dafoe attempting to sound Irish sounds like the unacknowledged love child of Senator Edward Kennedy and Kenny Dalgliesh.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
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