movie film review | chris tookey
 
harsh reviews
An A to Z of the World's Deadliest Movie Reviews From Affleck
to Zeta Jones
SELECT VICTIMS BY INITIAL LETTER OF SURNAME
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 
Tom Green
Actor, Writer, Director, Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
This fellow is simply not ready to make a movie for a major American studio, and may never be. He has no skills. He has no gifts. He has no instincts. He has no resources. He knows nothing about story structure, comedy construction, visual humor, jokes, punch lines, satire, parody or any other comic art. He only has his peculiar species of nerve, which evidently some grown-up who should have known better confused with ability. The movie is simply not professional. It's not, even by the lowest standards of Republic B-westerns in the '30s or bad, cheap horror films in the '50s, releasable. You wonder: What part of “unfunny” doesn't Tom Green understand?
(Stephen Hunter, The Washington Post )
If any film is going to singlehandedly destroy your passion for film, it will be this one. If any film will make you want to kill Tom Green, it will be this one. If you do it we will not hold it against you.
(Brandon Curtis, Epinions.com)
Green's got no talent to speak of, unless you count the willingness to do almost any sordid, disgusting thing to elicit a reaction from people. Move over Adam Sandler, there's a new poster child for arrested development in town and his name is Tom Green.
(Brenda Sokolowski, Anchorage Press)
Green surpasses “annoying” in the opening ten minutes when he decides to molest a horse. I felt dirty, and I still do.
(Jamey Hughton, Movie Views)
Quite simply the worst movie ever released by a major studio in Hollywood history. Co-written, directed by and starring Green, this train wreck disguised as a movie is a case study of an annoyingly vibrant attack of arrested adolescent development. There is not one single moment in the entire 86 minutes of this film that is the least bit redeemable on any level.
(Paul Clinton, CNN)
The jury's still out on whether Canadian comedian Tom Green is the new Andy Kaufmann or just a dork with a sick sense of humour. On the evidence of Freddy Got Fingered, I'd have to cast my vote for dork. This series of off-colour jokes and mindless situations may well be as complete a waste of time as a film can get.
(David Edwards)
Green is like that irritating kid in every junior high school who wants desperately to be the class clown.
(Todd Anthony, South Florida Sun-Sentinel)
If you go to see this movie, Green will earn the money to make another one. That's between you and your conscience.
(Liz Braun, Jam! Movies)
It's the ego trip of a talentless showoff with nothing to say, and worse, Green knows it.
(Terry Lawson, Detroit Free Press)
With Green on screen for most of the movie, there's no escape from his relentlessly yammering, in-your-face shtick - except to shut your eyes and will this misbegotten thing to closure.
(Gene Seymour, Newsday)
Green is perhaps the only person on earth who could make a moviegoer actually nostalgic for the subtle intellectual brilliance of Pauly Shore.
(Jim Lane, Sacramento News & Review)
Green's ever-upped ante of shock speaks of a desperation that borders on mental illness.
(Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel)
Green just comes off as one of those weird, fey guys who's a lot less interesting than he thinks he is.
(Stephanie Zacharek, Salon.com)
Green plays, in a bold stroke of casting, a self-absorbed moron. He is almost frighteningly persuasive in the role.
(Joe Leydon, San Francisco Examiner)
Actor, Stealing Harvard (2003)
A film which would have been merely horrible without Green becomes unendurable as soon as he lurches on screen and starts pulling would-be hilarious comic faces. Hardened critics still go a funny colour and cross themselves at the mention of Green's gross-out comedy Freddy Got Fingered, but at least that had the courage to be outrageous.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
It's not enough to say that Green isn't funny in Stealing Harvard - that might leave the impression that Green simply isn't funny in comparison to other comedians. No, it's bigger than that.
(Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle)
Green is the comedy equivalent of Saddam Hussein, and I'm just about ready to go to the U.N. and ask permission for a preemptive strike.
(David Cornelius, Amazing Colossal Website)
Tom Green in character turns out to be even less funny than Green being Green.
(Sean Means, Salt Lake Tribune)
Some actors steal scenes. Tom Green just gives them a bad odor. This self-infatuated goofball is far from the only thing wrong with the clumsy comedy Stealing Harvard, but he's the most obvious one.
(Mark Caro, Chicago Tribune)
Put Tom Green in enough movies, and eventually something funny will happen. Stealing Harvard offers more evidence that this hasn't happened yet.
(Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel)
Finding Green in a film is like finding anthrax in your cornflakes.
(Peter Bradshaw, Guardian)
Aficionados will be pleased to know that his interest in bestiality remains strong.
(Catherine Shoard, Sunday Telegraph)
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