movie film review | chris tookey
 
harsh reviews
An A to Z of the World's Deadliest Movie Reviews From Affleck
to Zeta Jones
SELECT VICTIMS BY INITIAL LETTER OF SURNAME
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 
Josh Hartnett
Actor, Blow Dry (2001)
Hartnett is disastrously miscast as a Yorkshireman, with the most cringeworthy attempt at a British accent since Dick van Dyke set the nation's teeth on edge in Mary Poppins.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
How the filmmakers let Hartnett get away with such an abysmal English accent is anyone's guess.
(Ben Falk, BBCi)
Finally, a word about Josh Hartnett: unnnghhhhh! Every time he opens his mouth the picture grinds to a sudden halt, as both he and the audience grapple with a tortuous hybrid of (vague) Yorkshire, Geordie, California, Oxbridge and Irish accents - the latter probably a subconscious mimickry of director Breathnach’s own brogue - all delivered in a rumbling slacker mumble. Couldn’t they have just made him mute?
(Neil Young, Jigsaw Lounge)
Actor, Forty Days and Forty Nights (2002)
Hopelessly lumpish again.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Hartnett is hopelessly and haplessly miscast in the lead role: coarse-grained and brooding where the script calls for light and flexible. But the worst offender is director Michael "Heathers" Lehmann, who amps up the abstinence by punctuating each crisis with a crass camera zoom, and has his characters shouting and gesticulating wildly in enclosed spaces. By the end, such endless over-reacting has taken its toll on Hartnett, who looks hoarse, spent and exhausted. The final release can't come soon enough.
(Xan Brooks,Guardian)
Actor, Hollywood Homicide (2003)
When it comes to hilarity, who doesn't think of the first names in comedy, Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett?
(Mark Ramsey, Moviejuice)
Hartnett has a wide-ranging ability to be bad in comedy, drama and action.
(Peter Bradshaw, Guardian)
Actor, Wicker Park (2004)
Josh Hartnett, he of the squashed face and burpy voice, attracts unlikely amounts of female attention in this rubbish remake.
(Catherine Shoard, Sunday Telegraph)
Is Josh Hartnett the new face of bland? After watching his disengaged performance in Wicker Park, you'd be forgiven for thinking so. A poor man's Keanu Reeves, his eyes are so heavy-lidded he's looks certain to fall asleep at any moment. One can't blame him for wanting to catch 40 winks in this lead-footed romantic thriller.
(Jamie Russell, BBCi)
Has there ever been a more inadequate leading man than Josh Hartnett? Ben Affleck, Keanu Reeves and Jason Patric are so bland and woefully lacking in interior life that they can be a trial to watch, but it’s hard to understand why Josh Hartnett’s 15 minutes of fame aren’t long over. Whenever Josh tries to act, he never can manage to register more than one crude emotion at a time, and with each emotion he seems to be trying so hard to get his face, eyes and body language to say the same thing, he inspires pity more than empathy. The potential might have existed for a Vertigo-style study of obsession; but Josh Hartnett is no James Stewart (come to think of it, he’s not even a Kim Novak). It’s a sad commentary on the rest of this torture by turkey that the nearest to a credible performance comes from Scooby Doo’s pal Matthew Lillard as the hero’s best friend. Lillard does at least seem to be making up his own words as he goes along. And standing next to poor old Josh, as he knits his monobrow in an attempt to remember what emotion he has to register next, anyone looks good.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
What is Josh Hartnett thinking? Perhaps the question can be usefully rephrased by removing the first word. His great, dopey and largely immobile face sits there on the screen like that of an older actor who’s OD-ed on Botox. Insofar as it conveys any emotion at all, it is the anxiety of someone who has multi-tasking issues with chewing gum and walking. The most embarrassing moment comes when a single tear has to run down Josh’s cheek. Director Paul McGuigan must have achieved this effect by plucking a single nose-hair from the inside of Josh’s left nostril with some tweezers, before scampering out of shot and shouting “Action!”
(Peter Bradshaw, Guardian)
Actor, Lucky Number Slevin (2006)
As for our leading man, I don’t see the point of Josh Hartnett. He’s a pin-up who belongs in a day-time Australian soap, not in a starring role.
(Cosmo Landesman, Sunday Times)
Actor, The Black Dahlia (2006)
Josh Hartnett is lumpish, inexpressive and dead behind the eyes as the kind of tough-guy cop who might once have been played, far better, by Robert Mitchum.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Key to Symbols