movie film review | chris tookey
 
harsh reviews
An A to Z of the World's Deadliest Movie Reviews From Affleck
to Zeta Jones
SELECT VICTIMS BY INITIAL LETTER OF SURNAME
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 
Paris Hilton
Actress, House of Wax (2005)
Paris Hilton is the least of the film's problems, and when Paris Hilton is the least of your problems, you know you're in trouble.
(Eric D. Snider, ericdsnider.com)
Hilton runs the gamut of emotions from A to A-minus, and the other actors look desperate to forget that this dazzlingly dumb debacle will be on their resumes.
(Peter Travers, Rolling Stone)
As for the million dollar question: So… Paris Hilton, huh? Well, she’s not a liability to Wax, but she certainly doesn’t help matters. Director Juame Serra is wise to keep Hilton away for most of the movie.
(Brian Orndorf, Filmjerk.com)
Acting is similarly routine with the glorious exception of Hilton, who is so bad she steals the show.
(Kirk Honeycutt, Hollywood Reporter)
It bears as much relation to the 1953 Vincent Price film of the same name as one of its nominal “stars”, the socialite Paris Hilton, does to Dame Judi Dench.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Actress, The Hottie and the Nottie (2008)
You've got to admire Hilton's complete conviction in herself as the center of all that is beautiful and good. And maybe such unwavering self-regard is actually kind of hot. Or not.
(Elizabeth Weitzman, New York Daily News)
How is Paris Hilton in her first starring role to receive a national release? Pretty bad, actually. She's limited to a single, all-too-familiar expression of smug self-satisfaction, and she delivers her lines in a tone somewhere between "seductive" and "dish-soap commercial."
(Keith Phipps, The Onion)
The easiest way to describe The Hottie and the Nottie is this... The Hottie and the Nottie is the Paris Hilton of contemporary cinema. No, silly. I don't mean that it's rich, semi-good looking and destined to inherit millions. I'm talking about the OTHER Paris Hilton. You know the one? Cheap, tawdry, unfunny, self-absorbed, unskilled, untalented and, yet, somehow still manages to get a huge platform upon which to play.
(Richard Propes, The Peaceful Critic)
As Humphrey Bogart remarked with frightening foresight towards the end of Casablanca, “We’ll always have Paris”. There’s only one memorable movie this week, but it sticks in the mind for all the wrong reasons. It’s a jaw-droppingly vile, vulgar, vanity production, produced by and starring Paris Hilton (pictured left), the high priestess of dim... Let’s get the obvious over with. Paris is to acting what Dame Judi Dench is to swimsuit-modelling. The hotels heiress is even more laughably inept here than she was in her first starring role, in House of Wax. She delivers lines as if (a) she’s heavily sedated, (b) English is not her first language, and (c) she’s reading them with difficulty off a distant autocue. There is absolutely nothing going on behind those bright, blue contact lenses.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Key to Symbols