movie film review | chris tookey
 
harsh reviews
An A to Z of the World's Deadliest Movie Reviews From Affleck
to Zeta Jones
SELECT VICTIMS BY INITIAL LETTER OF SURNAME
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 
Elizabeth Hurley
Actress, Beyond Bedlam (1994)
Elizabeth Hurley follows up her ignominious big-screen debut in Passenger 57 by being the least convincing movie scientist since Zsa Zsa Gabor in Queen of Outer Space (1958).
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Actress, Mad Dogs and Englishmen (1995)
La Hurley plays the whole thing as though suffering from an overdose of Night Nurse.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Actress, Dangerous Ground (1997)
The most memorable feature is a woeful performance by Elizabeth Hurley as Cube's sidekick, a crack-addicted South African stripper. Hurley isn't helped by moronic dialogue, a ridiculous action climax, hideous clothes and unflattering make-up.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Actress, Bedazzled (2000)
Liz delivers on the one-note performance this movie calls for. When she cries it makes me want to scream. The feeling is unavoidable that you're watching not acting, but the work of a clever cinematographer who pasted together hundreds of Lauder print ads and flipped the pages rapidly to simulate animation. Bedazzled leaves me Bemused, Bewildered and Bamboozled.
(Mark Ramsey, Moviejuice)
There is nothing so unsexy as bad acting: Liz has a ruinous on-screen confidence matched only by Madonna's. It's like watching a Roedean head girl gamely having a go at the house play. She garbles the words and rushes through the jokes as if she just can't wait to try on another outfit. After all, clothes and make-up are what she does best. Because of Hurley's awkwardness, the film can't build the momentum necessary to keep matters light and fun.
(Jason Solomons, Mail on Sunday)
One of the greatest lies that Hollywood loves to tell the young of the world is not to worry, people will love you for who you really are. But wouldn't it be refreshing to see a film that for once said: don't be yourself - try to be something better than what you are? And what about our Liz? As an actress, she's so inept that she constantly draws attention to her lack of talent. In numerous scenes, Hurley just stands around, hands on hips, pouting and posing like a model in a photo-shoot; she delivers here lines with the bland bumpty-bump bumpty-bump monotone of an amateur who is reading lines from a script. Even her flirtatious cooing and wooing is off key. And the really shocking thing is that in this role she's not even sexy! In photographs she looks like a movie star - but in movies, she looks like a model who is having a bad body day. The stills camera loves Liz, but not the movie camera. I swear that there are moments in this film when Hurley, with her masculine jaw line, over made-up cheekbones and husky voice, looks like a blowsy transvestite.
(Cosmo Landesman, Sunday Times)
It's a tribute to Brendan Fraser that he's unfazed by the diabolical acting going on within his eye-line. The way Elizabeth Hurley recites her lines is atrocious but mesmerising. She's so scarily camp, she's like Joan Collins auditioning to replace Christopher Lee in a Hammer horror movie.
(Chris Tookey, Mail on Sunday)
Actress, Double Whammy (2002)
A toothless satire full of stale stereotypes and the usual embarrassing Liz Hurley performance.
(Cosmo Landesman, Sunday Times)
Actress, Serving Sara (2002)
Hurley never gets into character (not that there's much there for her to get into) and spends half the time looking like she's not aware that the camera is rolling.
(James Berardinelli, Reelviews)
Perry has admitted that his judgment at the time was impaired by alcohol and drugs. But what was Elizabethís excuse?
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Actress, Bad Boy/ Dawg (2002)
Hurley plays one of the least convincing lawyers in screen history, and the embarrassingly predictable plot requires her to fall for a womanizing millionaire playboy. Not much of a stretch for her after Steve Bing, you might think, but on screen she canít do it.
(Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
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