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| Has it come to this? Yes, it has. If ever a movie testified to the utter creative bankruptcy of the Hollywood film industry, it is the abomination known as Freddy Got Fingered, written and directed and overbearingly starring an odd potato of a man named Tom Green. Yes, I know whom he is married to. Yes, I know he is still famous on MTV. Yes, I know he had cancer in a nasty spot. That's fine, but this fellow is simply not ready to make a movie for a major American studio, and may never be. He has no skills. He has no gifts. He has no instincts. He has no resources. He knows nothing about story structure, comedy construction, visual humor, jokes, punch lines, satire, parody or any other comic art. He only has his peculiar species of nerve, which evidently some grown-up who should have known better confused with ability. The movie is simply not professional. It's not, even by the lowest standards of Republic B-westerns in the '30s or bad, cheap horror films in the '50s, releasable. You wonder: What part of “unfunny” doesn't Tom Green understand? |
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| (Stephen Hunter, Washington Post ) |
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| If you're looking for the absolute worst movie of the year, the motion picture with the least redeeming value, and a cinematic experience that could not possibly be any worse, then look no further, because Freddy Got Fingered is here. |
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| (Anthony Leong) |
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| An act of violence against moviegoers. |
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| (Anthony Breznican, AP Entertainment Writer) |
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| The only reason I didn't walk out of Freddy Got Fingered is due to a personal code of ethics that I hold which prevents me from reviewing a film that I don't see in its entirety. Perhaps it is time to rethink that policy. Freddy Got Fingered is, in my estimation, not only a complete waste of time, but a waste of money, celluloid and talent. |
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| (Michael Elliott, Movie Parables) |
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| See Freddy Got Fingered or play in traffic? That's a tough one, I'm gonna go with the latter... I cannot warn you away from this movie strongly enough, it is terrible, terrible, terrible. If any film is going to singlehandedly destroy your passion for film, it will be this one. If any film will make you want to kill Tom Green, it will be this one. If you do it we will not hold it against you. |
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| (Brandon Curtis, Epinions.com) |
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| Freddy isn’t a movie; it’s a showcase for Green’s dare-me-to-do-this antics. But Green’s got no talent to speak of, unless you count the willingness to do almost any sordid, disgusting thing to elicit a reaction from people. Move over Adam Sandler, there’s a new poster child for arrested development in town and his name is Tom Green. |
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| (Brenda Sokolowski, Anchorage Press) |
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| Quite possibly the most unenjoyable, uncomfortable comedy ever conceived, Green surpasses “annoying” in the opening ten minutes when he decides to molest a horse... I felt dirty, and I still do. |
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| (Jamey Hughton, Movie Views) |
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| There's no escape from his relentlessly yammering, in-your-face shtick - except to shut your eyes and will this misbegotten thing to closure. Even the movie finds itself asking when it'll end. Not soon enough. |
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| (Gene Seymour, L.A.Times) |
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| Not a truly revolutionary assault on cultural mores, but rather a thinly disguised paean to traditional go-get-'em underdog values dressed up with ludicrous gross-out moments. |
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| (James Kendrick, Film Desk) |
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| The more I think about this horrible movie, the more I hate it. I don't expect to see a worse movie this year. Green and co-writer Derek Harvie should be ashamed of themselves for producing something as vile, cruel, and morally offensive as this. Freddy Got Fingered is a special kind of awful: the kind that is potentially career-ending. |
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| (Mike McGranaghan, The Aisle Seat) |
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| Quite simply the worst movie ever released by a major studio in Hollywood history. Co-written, directed by and starring Green, this train wreck disguised as a movie is a case study of an annoyingly vibrant attack of arrested adolescent development. There is not one single moment in the entire 86 minutes of this film that is the least bit redeemable on any level. |
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| (Paul Clinton, CNN) |
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| This film sets out to shock. And shock it does. I’m aghast, appalled and astonished that anyone allowed a vat of puerile, putrified farce posing as a screenplay to become the abomination that is this eighty-odd minute waste of celluloid. Tom Green and I may share a surname, but we do not share a sense of humour. He seems to be suffering from the delusion that because ‘new’ is considered a cinematic desideratum, anything new will do. Can’t say I’ve ever seen a bloke jerk off an elephant before; can’t say I’m edified to have now had the pleasure. Although a shower of pachyderm semen does seem more inviting than immersion in Green’s creative masturbation: a series of gross-out sequences that P.T. Barnum would have been ashamed to peddle... Useful only as a calibration mark for absolute zero on the scale of comedic sophistication, I would have to advise that any who prefer their humour to include a pinch of intelligence give this one a wide berth. |
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| (Brad Green) |
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| As Green might put it: It's not funny! This movie is not funny! It's not funny at all! Don't see it! It's boring! Boring! Boring! Boring and annoying! It's not funny! |
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| (Anthony Breznican, ASSOCIATED PRESS) |
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| A parade of tasteless, stupid and utterly flat jokes. |
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| (Jack Garner, Rochester Democrat and Chronicle) |
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| It's the ego trip of a talentless showoff with nothing to say, and worse, Green knows it. |
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| (Terry Lawson, Detroit Free Press) |
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| What's really disgusting about this movie is how easy, cheap and lazy the shocks it delivers are. |
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| (Tom Maurstad, Dallas Morning News) |
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| Probably the ugliest, meanest film I've seen in a long time. |
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| (Rob Morlino, Matinee Magazine) |
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| Shocking doesn't necessarily mean amusing. |
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| (Sean O'Connell, Citysearch) |
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| A film that you don't want to inflict on yourself, no matter how adventuresome a moviegoer you think you are. |
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| (Steve Rhodes, STEVE RHODES' INTERNET REVIEWs) |
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| Witless, dull, and oh-so-predictably offensive... Green, who looks like a chinless, hollow-eyed pederast at the best of times, is simply out of his league here, and the fact that the film drags interminably when it's actually a very average 90 minutes long betrays its essential emptiness. |
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| (Marc Savlov, Austin Chronicle) |
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| With [Green] on screen for most of the movie, there's no escape from his relentlessly yammering, in-your-face shtick - except to shut your eyes and will this misbegotten thing to closure. |
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| (Gene Seymour, Newsday) |
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| A thoroughly rancid lump of cinematic sludge. |
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| (Frank Swietek, ONE GUY'S OPINION) |
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| This genre ceased to have boundaries about a year ago, as well as any sense of anarchy and subversiveness. |
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| (Gary Thompson, Philadelphia Daily News) |
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| A complete and total waste of time and neurons to watch. |
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| (Tony Toscano, Talking Pictures) |
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| Offers nothing more than the chance for Tom Green the actor to just be as insane and disgusting as possible without an arbiter to help him sort out the funny from the way unfunny. |
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| (Jon Alon Walz, Box Office Magazine) |
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| Doesn't push the limits of taste so much as the limits of how bad a movie can be. |
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| (Bruce Westbrook, Houston Chronicle) |
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| The most appalling comedy of the millennium after Joe Dirt. |
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| (David Edelstein, Slate) |
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| Green... is perhaps the only person on earth who could make a moviegoer actually nostalgic for the subtle intellectual brilliance of Pauly Shore. |
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| (Jim Lane, SACRAMENTO NEWS & REVIEW) |
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| Stay away!!!!! |
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| (Eric Lurio, Greenwich Village Gazette) |
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| Green's ever-upped ante of shock speaks of a desperation that borders on mental illness. |
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| (Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel) |
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| Poo! Poo! |
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| (Christopher Null, Filmcritic.com) |
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| A cynical creative and emotional vacuum of a movie. |
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| (Geoff Pevere, Toronto Star) |
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| It slaps us in the face and asks us to hate it at every turn. Mission accomplished. |
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| (Todd R. Ramlow, Popmatters) |
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| There's no subversiveness, no wit, no bite. It's a lazy piece of work. |
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| (Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald) |
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| One huge stinking, steaming turd of a movie without a single redeeming gutbusting gag in its entire length. |
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| (Chuck Schwartz, Cranky Critic) |
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| It's hard to ignore the strain of gratuitous cruelty that runs through it. |
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| (Steve Simels, TV Guide'S Movie Guide) |
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| Most of it is pure tedium, interrupted by jaw-dropping immaturity and inept jokes. |
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| (Jay Stone, OTTAWA CITIZEN) |
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| Even with a thesaurus, there are only so many ways to say that a film is not only excruciating but also sickening and unfunny. |
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| (Jeff Vice, Deseret News, Salt Lake City) |
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| Was this the first movie in motion picture history to bypass the “executive screenings”? |
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| (Scott Weinberg, Apollo Guide) |
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| You watch aghast at how gruesomely awful it is. |
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| (Glenn Whipp, Daily News Los Angeles) |
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| A vomitorium consisting of 93 minutes of Tom Green doing things that a geek in a carnival sideshow would turn down. |
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| (Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times) |
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| I'm not easily offended, but its nonstop assault of crude and sub-cretinous humor moved me to annoyance, then profound boredom. |
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| (Lou Lumenick, New York Post)) |
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| Tragically awful. |
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| (Wesley Morris, San Francisco Chronicle) |
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| In the US, this has been hailed as the 21st century's worst movie; I think it is the 21st century's worst cultural artefact. Watching it was among the worst experiences of my life, up there with having a quarter of millimetre shaved off my upper molar without anaesthetic by an eccentric dentist when I was 15... There is simply no way of exonerating this movie. Imposing a so-bad-it's-good interpretation won't work because, with atrocious arrogance, Green has already claimed the privileges of so-bad-it's-good status with his loopy infantile schtick. Is Green playing the "genius" card - experimental absurdism, neo-horror comedy, etc, etc? That won't wash because Green finally comes on so very sentimental about the need to express himself and break free of his uptight dad (played, gawd help us, by Rip Torn). Eventually it ends up in Pakistan, of all the hilarious, irrelevant not-the-U-S-of-A places! And there was us thinking the age of irony was over. Stay away. |
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| (Peter Bradshaw, Guardian) |
, Rip Torn 
