movie film review | chris tookey
 
 

Greg Russell

 
 

The Movie Show Plus, USA

 
 
   
 

Quote Whore Quotient : 31

 Quote Whore Status : 31st=
 
 
   
Big Momma's House 2 (2006)
Big time fun!
 
 Lawrence is a comedian with talent who rarely uses it for anything worthwhile, and here he makes a halfhearted, paycheck-collecting effort that's actually in perfect keeping with the rest of the movie's tired, recycled tone.
 
 (Ken Fox, TV Guide)
 
 So episodic and flat it should be a letdown even to those amused by the original.
 
 (Brian Lowry, Variety)
 
 There's something depressing about seeing the low-energy, family-friendly Lawrence sleepwalk through the film's sappy plot points.
 
 (Nathan Rabin, The Onion)
 
 If you experience any laughter while in the presence of this movie, it's a credit to your imagination. But if you can tickle yourself, why spend the $10.75?
 
 (Kyle Smith, New York Post)
 
 Every so often, a minor character comes onscreen to point at Lawrence, laugh hysterically and yell “You’re funny!” They lie.
 
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
Licence to Wed (2007)
Wildly entertaining! A laugh-out-loud hilarious romp!
 
 Forget about Saw, Hostel and all the other films in the new, notorious torture-porn genre. If you're looking for a really sick movie, check out License to Wed.
 
 (Liam Lacey, Globe and Mail)
 
 The only thing that kept me watching License to Wed until the end (apart from being paid to do so) was the faith, perhaps misplaced, that I will not see a worse movie this year.
 
 (A.O. Scott, New York Times)
 
 There's bad, there's awful and there's horrible, and then somewhere beyond that, in its own Kingdom of Lousy - where all the milk curdles and the jokes aren't funny - is License to Wed, the latest ghastly exercise starring Robin Williams.
 
 (Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle)
 
 Legend has it that Josef Goebbels had a home movie made of the failed 1944 Hitler assassins being hanged from meathooks with piano wire. It probably had more laughs, more fun, more feelgood moments than this .
 
 (Peter Bradshaw, Guardian)
 
 I came out of this bewilderingly bone-headed movie convinced not only that Ben would be better off without Sadie, but also that they should be kept as far apart as possible, if only to prevent them from breeding the kind of morons who would see nothing wrong with a movie such as Licence to Wed, or worse still make it. Believe it or not, this movie has twelve producers.
 
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
Transformers (2007)
The most original movie of the year!
 
 A movie of epically assaultive noise and nonsense.
 
  (Manohla Dargis, New York Times)
 
 A strong candidate for the dumbest movie ever made.
 
 (Maitland McDonagh, TV Guide)
 
 Just another loud, plot-deficient summer motion picture.
 
 (James Berardinelli, Reelviews)
 
 A textbook case of cynical Hollywood extravagance.
 
 (Andrea Gronvall, Chicago Reader)
 
  A nightmare, as enjoyable as a package holiday in Helmand Province without a flak jacket.
 
 (Philip French, Observer)
 
 Noisy, meaningless junk.
 
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
Fred Claus (2007)
A fun family film for all.
 
 The movie has a terrible premise compounded by a lame script and the miscasting of its surfeit of talented stars.
 
 (Jack Mathews, New York Daily News)
 
 Dispiriting... insipid.
 
 (Peter Rainer, Christian Science Monitor)
 
 Belligerently unfunny.
 
 (Pete Vonder Haar, Film Threat)
 
 Fred Claus is sadly just an early lump of coal under the tree.
 
 (Toddy Burton, Austin Chronicle)
 
 Not like a lump of coal in your stocking. Coal is useful; you can burn it. This movie is more like a lump of something Blitzen left behind after eating a lot of Mexican food.
 
 (Kyle Smith, New York Post)
 
Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007)
A great holiday film that exhibits the power of believing in yourself... It’s transcending!
 
 There isn't anything terribly exciting or original on offer in the somewhat poky directing debut of screenwriter Zach Helm.
 
 (Lou Lumenick, New York Post)
 
 It's hard to escape the feeling that what Zach Helm's directorial debut really wants to be is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. But where Roald Dahl's story was brilliantly eccentric and respectfully unsentimental, Helm's is heavy with strained zaniness and hazy morality.
 
 (Elizabeth Weitzman, New York Daily News)
 
 Helm's pacing is as pallid as his palette is vivid, and for a movie that celebrates wonder and strangeness, the whole enterprise feels coy and half-baked.
 
 (Ella Taylor, Village Voice)
 
 The whimsy feels forced.
 
 (Sheri Linden, Hollywood Reporter)
 
 Mr Magorium’s Terrible Tedium. Here is the movie to take small children to, if you want to put them off cinema for life.
 
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
Furry Vengeance (2010)
Don't miss the furriest, funniest film of the spring!
 
 This is just one nutso, painfully unfunny family flick.
 
 (Joe Neumaier, New York Daily News)
 
 A collection of feeble jokes in the service of green themes. Sustainability never looked so stupid.
 
 (Sheri Linden, Hollywood Reporter)
 
 Furry Vengeance is a slapstick stinker, easily the worst movie of the year.
 
 (Claudia Puig, USA Today)
 
 Excruciatingly unfunny.
 
 (Lou Lumenick, New York Post)
 
 Cinematic child abuse… The whole film is hectoring enough to put the green movement back a hundred years, and you end up wondering how many trees have been felled and air-miles flown, in order to make this abject excuse for slapstick comedy.
 
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
 
Remember Me (2010)
A sweeping romantic masterpiece.
 
 Dour, hysterical sudser that never lifts off the ground, no matter how hard it flaps its wings with sequences of nicotine-stained rebellion, cycles of abuse, and bootleg turns of fate.
 
 (Brian Orndorf, Filmjerk.com)
 
 It’s hard to know what the director Allen Coulter could have done to improve Will Fetters’s absurdly contrived, yakky script about love and loss, largely set in the summer of 2001. But Mr. Coulter doesn’t help matters by infusing the movie with grave self-importance.
 
 (Manohla Dargis, New York Times)
 
 The dullness of this writing is more than matched by the dull look achieved by director Allen Coulter, who appears to have shot the film through a piece of yard-sale Tupperware.
 
 (Kyle Smith, New York Post)
 
 The film’s tone is all wrong, the pacing is dead and the veering between sex, sadness and sado-masochistic violence is enough to give you motion sickness. It’s a bad movie.
 
 (Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel)
 
 Bless you, R.Patz & Co., because this gloriously steaming pile is officially in the bad-movies-we-love pantheon.
 
 (Keith Uhlich, Time Out New York)
 
 A dire romantic drama, murkily lit and lethargically directed… Mr Pattinson’s young female fans are likely to find this film less unbearable than anyone else. But even they may find the big emotional climax, which exploits a major terrorist disaster, cheap and pretentious.
 
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
Life As We Know It (2010)
The best romantic comedy of the year.
 
 This exercise in cynical formulaic movie construction is best avoided, unless insomnia's been a problem.
 
 (Jason Heck, Kansas City Star)
 
 It’s difficult not to sound like a bitter heterosexual man while writing a pan of this odious picture, but Heigl has a way of making modern love feel like a stint inside an iron maiden.
 
 (Brian Orndorf, BrianOrndorf.com)
 
 It would take a much better director than Greg Berlanti to animate this corpse.
 
 (Jim Lane, Sacramento News & Review)
 
 Pure Hollywood corn, saccharine and sour by turns.
 
 (Jake Wilson, The Age, Australia)
 
 There was barely a single laugh at the screening I attended. Top it all with a nice thick layer of smugness and sentimentality, and you have the very worst that Hollywood has to offer.
 
 (Peter Whittle, Sunday Times)
 
 Romcom as we know it only too well… No movie this trite should last more than 90 minutes, if indeed it had to be made at all.
 
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
 
 
King Arthur (2004)
Exciting, dynamic and entertaining!
The Game Plan (2007)
The perfect family film.
Death at a Funeral (2010)
Death has never been funnier!
The Tooth Fairy (2010)
Dwayne Johnson is the champ of family movies!
Letters to Juliet (2010)
The most romantic movie of the year.
 
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