movie film review | chris tookey

Joel Amos


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The Back-Up Plan (2010)
The first great romantic comedy of 2010. Jennifer Lopez is pure perfection.
 The Back-up Plan proves that star Jennifer Lopez sorely needs one.
 (Gary Thompson, Philadelphia Daily News)
 The Back-up Plan is about as much fun as 36 hours of labor, only you don't get to go home with a baby at the end. Instead, you leave with a throbbing headache and a lot of questions about why anybody still thinks Jennifer Lopez can anchor a movie.
 (Connie Ogle, Miami Herald)
 My pregnancy lasted 41 weeks and five days, involved morning, afternoon and night sickness and culminated in 25 hours of labor capped off by an emergency C-section. Yet all that seems like a walk in the park compared with the 100 minutes I spent watching Jennifer Lopez mug her way through The Back-Up Plan.
 (Mary Pols, Time)
 The mystery of Jennifer Lopez: how can someone with such a beautiful face be quite so unappealing as a presence? Every role she touches just withers and dies.
 (Anthony Quinn, Independent)
 Jennifer Lopez has never looked better or acted worse.
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Marmaduke (2010)
The perfect family summer comedy.
 Beverly Hills Chihuahua, we owe you an apology. Among talking-dog movies, Marmaduke is the runt of the litter.
 (Joe Williams, St. Louis Post-Dispatch)
 If Marmaduke achieves anything, it's that it makes this past spring's Furry Vengeance look like a masterpiece by comparison.
 (Joe Neumaier, New York Daily News)
 One long cringe fest that starts out abysmally and gets worse with horrifying determination. When it’s not assaulting competent filmmaking, and exalting the emptying of doggie bladders, it’s putting the audience to sleep. And sometimes, it’s doing both.
 (Andrea Chase, Killer Movie Reviews)
 When one of the last sounds you hear in a work of family entertainment is a Great Dane passing gas, there’s only one conclusion to be drawn. The movie hates your family.
 (Wesley Morris, Boston Globe)
 It is suitable for kids, but only as a punishment.
 (Phelim O’Neill, Guardian)
 Perhaps very small children will be able to tolerate the flatulence gags, ill-timed prat-falls and pointless destruction that will make this “family film” a painful ordeal for hapless adults.
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
You Again (2010)
Hysterical with a heart of gold. Hysterically funny!
 You Again almost gleefully aims for the bottom of the barrel, jettisoning everything from consistency of character to every last ounce of dignity once possessed by its cast.
 (Rob Humanick, Slant Magazine)
 There is not a laugh to be found in this rancid, misogynistic revenge comedy.
 (Stephen Holden, New York Times)
 A laugh-free script that's underscored by a nasty mean streak.
 (Greg Quill, Toronto Star)
 You Again unfortunately perpetuates all the worst cliches about women being insecure, petty, spiteful, competitive and cruel, and it does it in the name of comedy - which is a problem, because it's pretty much never funny.
 (Christy Lemire, Associated Press)
 A baffling, excruciating, cancerous lump.
 (Brian Orndorf,
 Incredibly, this exercise in rancid misogyny was written by a woman. The message of the movie seems to be that everyone deserves a second chance. But this screenwriter certainly doesn’t.
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Sex and the City 2 (2010)
Fun and fabulous!
 If this is what modern womanhood means, then just fucking veil me and sew up all my holes. Good night.
 (Lindy West, The Stranger, Seattle)
 The ugly smell of unexamined privilege hangs over this film like the smoke from cheap incense.
 (A.O. Scott, New York Times)
 One wrongheaded jaw-dropper follows another.
 (Keith Uhlich, Time Out New York)
 Some of these people make my skin crawl. The characters of Sex and the City 2 are flyweight bubbleheads living in a world which rarely requires three sentences in a row.
 (Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times)
 It's not often a horror film reaches into the depths of my soul, grabs my heart and shatters it into a billion terrified pieces.
 (Phil Villarreal, OK! Magazine)
 Hits a new low of idiocy and crassness.
 (Stephanie Zacharek, Movieline)
Life As We Know It (2010)
You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll leave happy.
 This exercise in cynical formulaic movie construction is best avoided, unless insomnia's been a problem.
 (Jason Heck, Kansas City Star)
 It’s difficult not to sound like a bitter heterosexual man while writing a pan of this odious picture, but Heigl has a way of making modern love feel like a stint inside an iron maiden.
 (Brian Orndorf,
 It would take a much better director than Greg Berlanti to animate this corpse.
 (Jim Lane, Sacramento News & Review)
 Pure Hollywood corn, saccharine and sour by turns.
 (Jake Wilson, The Age, Australia)
 There was barely a single laugh at the screening I attended. Top it all with a nice thick layer of smugness and sentimentality, and you have the very worst that Hollywood has to offer.
 (Peter Whittle, Sunday Times)
 Romcom as we know it only too well… No movie this trite should last more than 90 minutes, if indeed it had to be made at all.
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Due Date (2010)
The funniest film of the year.
 As in the most useless sitcoms, the laffs depend entirely on someone behaving as ridiculously as possible, in uninteresting ways devised by the dullest minds.
 (Kyle Smith, New York Post)
 A painful comedy in the lowest-common-denominator mold.
 (Matt Brunson, Creative Loafing)
 A relentlessly-offensive bottom-feeder of no redeeming social value which I learned in law school is the Supreme Court's definition of obscene.
 (Kam Williams,
 Simply unfunny, obnoxious and mean-spirited. I might also add that it's thinly plotted and annoying, but there's no point in kicking the movie while it's down.
 (Ken Hanke, Mountain Xpress)
 Due Date joins Furry Vengeance and I'm Still Here on the list of the year's worst movies.
 (Daniel M. Kimmel, New England Movies Weekly)
 Not so much a road movie as a cultural car-crash… The comedy climax of Due Date involves one of the characters shooting the other, then vomiting over him. Tragically, that is what passes for humour these days.
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Hall Pass (2011)
Insanely funny... The Farrelly brothers have done it again. Hall Pass is a comedic explosion.
 Noxious in the extreme, growing into an endurance test the longer one has to spend with these two louts posing as protagonists.
 (Dustin Putman,
 It's crude, for sure, relentlessly so, but it's also just dumb and, when it tries to get something close to serious, kind of depressing.
 (Bill Goodykoontz, Arizona Republic)
 Garbage waiting for the dump truck. The latest assault on public decency from the pathetic oeuvre of the Farrelly brothers is the same old swill, wrapped in odor-resistant disposable trash bags.
 (Rex Reed, New York Observer)
 Hall Pass is outright hideous and also embarrassing, like a creepy uncle sporting a backwards baseball cap and cracking bad, lewd jokes for the under-thirties. At a funeral... The scenario, from page one, is sexist manure. Nothing anyone does makes sense, is watchable, or advances beyond astonishingly dated stereotypes: you can count the laughs on the fingers of your clenched fists.
 (Tim Robey, Daily Telegraph)
 Terrible... an orgy of crudity that could only appeal to adolescents too young to be admitted.
 (Philip French, Observer)
Going The Distance (2010)
The Sorceror's Apprentice (2010)
The perfect summer movie.
Megamind (2010)
Hysterical. Awesome.
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