movie film review | chris tookey
 
 

Clay Smith

 
 

Access Hollywood, USA

 
 
   
 

Quote Whore Quotient : 48

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The Jungle Book 2 (2003)
As wonderful as the original. An absolute delight from beginning to end!
 
 A pathetic excuse for an animated feature, with only slightly more than an hour of action, a thin plot that returns to very familiar details and themes, and only two new songs.
 
  (Daphne Gordon, Toronto Star)
 
 The Jungle Book 2 is an indicator of how far Disney has fallen, although I can't recall the Magic Kingdom ever releasing a worse animated feature into multiplexes.
 
  (James Berardinelli, Reelviews)
 
 Thin and unsatisfying... Disney can do better, will do better, usually does better. To release this film theatrically is a compromise of its traditions and standards.
 
  (Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 The naked greed of capitalism can be an ugly sight, and with Disney it doesn't come much uglier than The Jungle Book 2.
 
  (Jeffrey Westhoff, Northwest Herald)
 
 Glib, cynical, witless, and thoughtless.
 
  (Eugene Novikov, Ultimate Movies!)
 
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
2 Fun 2 Fantastic! Paul Walker and Tyrese are the newest and best screen team buddies…they rock! The best jolt of adrenaline of any movie so far this year.
 
 As I sat and had the rampant awfulness of 2 Fast 2 Furious wash over me, I could actually FEEL the contempt and indifference of the filmmakers. 2 Awful 4 Words.
 
  (Scott Weinberg, Efilmcritic.com)
 
 It's a terrible movie, stuck in plot idiocies and big, noisy set pieces like a tire mired in mud.
 
  (Charles Taylor, Salon.com)
 
 There's good news and bad news about 2 Fast 2 Furious, the moronic follow-up to The Fast and the Furious and a contender for the worst movie of 2003. The good news is that it's better, albeit marginally, than Freddy Got Fingered. The bad news is that it's 15 minutes longer.
 
  (James Berardinelli, Reelviews)
 
 If it’s possible to dumb-down the boy racer genre, then this film succeeds resoundingly... 2 ridiculous for words.
 
  (Peter Bradshaw, Guardian)
 
Cradle 2 The Grave (2003)
DMX and Jet Li take action movies to a whole new level! They are the dynamic duo of the year!
 
 
 #A0The cinematographer- turned-director likes his MTV-style editing so much that in his drive for hyperkinetic overkill he sacrifices coherence to wallow in barely contained chaos.
 
  (Stephen Holden, New York Times)
 
 Stupid 2 the max.
 
  (Mark Wolf, Denver Rocky Mountain News)
 
 
 This is just a horrible film, waste of time. Please, please avoid it.
 
  (Richard Roeper, Ebert & Roeper)
 
 It's as idiotic as a committee of bad screenwriters could make it.
 
  (Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel)
 
 Bad movies kill you incrementally, but Cradle 2 to Grave is so egregiously slipshod, so flamboyantly awful, that it might get the whole job done in one sitting.
 
  (Robert K. Elder, Chicago Tribune)
 
 Sure to please slackjaws who are not tired to death of this kind of material recycled again and again and again.
 
  (Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
Down With Love (2003)
One terrific romantic comedy.
 
 #A0Appallingly terrible from start to finish.
 
  (Victoria Alexander, Filmsinreview.com)
 
 Reminded me of a handsome, expensively dressed person with bad manners and no real sense of style.
 
  (Joe Baltake, Sacramento Bee)
 
 It's too dull and hackneyed for the satirical spoof it intends to be, and the actors and director miss the charm and humor of the old Doris Day movies by a margin so wide it doesn't add up to a respectful homage, either.
 
  (Rex Reed, New York Observer)
 
 The film is juvenile when it should be adult, coarse when it ought to be bubbly, and upfront when witty circumspection is indicated.
 
  (Maitland McDonagh, TV Guide'S Movie Guide)
 
 This gave me a migraine so bad I virtually had to be hospitalised. The idea is to revive the udson/ Doris Day pillow talk comedy in uber-pastiche form, adding yet nore archness and irony, while subtracting any innocence or unassuming charm that might conceivably have made you feel affectionate about it in the first place... Ewan, kitted out in sharp suitings, is as attractive as a stoat in a tux.
 
  (Peter Bradshaw, Guardian)
 
 Shot like the Doris Day-Rock Hudson movie from Hell, and acted with an archness that kills every laugh stone dead, the film makes Renee Zellweger look plain and puffy. Ewan McGregor comes across as a talentless amateur. Ugly, unfunny and utterly devoid of charm, it flopped in the States, and no wonder: it's painful to watch - a smirky turkey.
 
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Secondhand Lions (2003)
It’s pure movie magic. Robert Duvall and Michael Caine deliver two of the best performances we have seen all year.
 
 #A0A blatantly manipulative coming-of-age drama that practically reaches out from the screen and yanks the tears from the viewers' eyes. A major disappointment, Secondhand Lions crashes and tediously burns for its 107-minute running time, despite the valiant efforts of veteran actors Robert Duvall and Michael Caine to breathe some emotional truth into this patently artificial yarn.
 
 (Tim Knight, Reel.com)
 
 A slice of mouldy old treacle... [Michael] Caine and [Robert] Duvall are meant to be crusty and lovable, with pasts that entitle them to offer life-lessons; but Duvall struck me as pompous, boring and violent, and Caine does little more than twinkle and offer us a choice of lousy accents in every shot... Tim McCanlies' silly, schmaltzy script brings out the ham in everyone.
 
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
 The brothers’ “heroics” seem mainly to have involved Arab genocide, and it’s hard to forget the body count in the later, knockabout scenes when they see off travelling salesmen with dogs and guns.
 
  (Catherine Shoard, Sunday Telegraph)
 
 Caine... looks terribly bored... A crucial sense of fun is missing, a sense of wonderment, perhaps.
 
  (Jason Solomons, Mail on Sunday)
 
Good Boy (2003)
Funny, first-rate family entertainment…capturing the same magic that made E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial so special!
 
 
 #A0Painfully dull.
 
  (Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle)
 
 There’s not enough story, the pace is achingly slow, and Matthew Broderick, who provides the voice of Hubble [the dog], sounds even more bored than me.
 
  (Matthew Bond, Mail on Sunday)
 
 Rubbish.
 
  (Catherine Shoard, Sunday Telegraph)
 
 Anyone got the humane killer handy?
 
  (Peter Bradshaw, Guardian)
 
 Bad dog!... The movie begs us to love it for the first half-hour, then for the remaining hour just rolls over and plays dead.... I was bored rigid, and most children will be too. Not enough happens; very little is funny.
 
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
Be Cool (2005)
The hottest comedy of the year!
 
 A lazy, rhythmless, and redundant piece of moviemaking.
 
  (David Denby, New Yorker)
 
 Blunderingly out-of-touch, star-studded embarrassment of a sequel.
 
  (Aaron Hillis, Premiere)
 
 A classic species of bore: a self-referential movie with no self to refer to. One character after another, one scene after another, one cute line of dialogue after another, refers to another movie, a similar character, a contrasting image, or whatever.
 
  (Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 Where there was effortless cool in the first movie [Get Shorty], there is nothing but manufactured posing here.
 
  (Desson Thomson, Washington Post)
 
 A staggeringly flat sequel that... could hardly be less cool.
 
  (David Rooney, Variety)
 
He's Just Not That Into You (2009)
This is what a funny, sexy romantic comedy should be!
 
 Here's a true S&M date movie. Only sadistic men and masochistic women could love it.
 
 (Peter Travers, Rolling Stone)
 
 Boring at best and insidious at worst.
 
 (Stephanie Zacharek, Salon.com)
 
 An unendurable relationship romcom, which you should avoid the way you would a glass of punch with a frothy gob of Anthrax floating on the surface. It stars a string of dead-eyed mid-career thirtysomethings who do not appear to be carbon-based lifeforms.
 
 (Peter Bradshaw, Guardian)
 
 This romcom’s a good advertisement for celibacy.
 
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
 
How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)
Romantic comedies just don’t get better than this! Hudson and McConaughey are absolutely picture perfect together! A winner all the way, sexy, great fun!
The Life of David Gale (2003)
It will keep your pulse racing and your heart pounding…until its suspenseful, shocking, mind-blowing conclusion!
The Fighting Temptations (2003)
The Fighting Temptations is a movie to add to your must-see list!
A Mighty Wind (2003)
The funniest comedy of the year!
American Wedding (2003)
The laugh-out-loud movie of the year! American Wedding is outrageous! Prepare yourself to laugh until it hurts!
Elf (2003)
Miracle on 34th Street meets It's a Wonderful Life! Will Ferrell doesn't just make you laugh... he will also steal your heart.
The Last Samurai (2003)
A masterpiece of epic filmmaking and Oscar-worthy in every way. Bold, beautiful and brilliant.
Along Came Polly (2003)
Hysterical!
The Perfect Score (2003)
****! The Perfect Score swings with a swagger and maverick-like attitude that made flicks like The Breakfast Club and Risky Business so cool.
Raising Helen (2004)
Kate Hudson will steal your heart!
The Terminal (2004)
The best time I've had at a movie this year...Spielberg is at his comedic best and Hanks delivers his most comedic performance since Forrest Gump!
Hidalgo (2004)
A thrilling adventure that will take your breath away!
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Pure Harry Potter perfection.
 
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