movie film review | chris tookey

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Gigli (2003)
Sexy and fun.
 Gigli is precisely as awful as everyone's been saying, and it's a sad state of affairs when a 2+ hour parade of self-adoration can pass for an actual movie.
  (Scott Weinberg,
 Such an utter wreck of a movie you expect to see it lying on its side somewhere in rural Pennsylvania, with a small gang of engineers circling and a wisp of smoke rising from the caboose.
  (Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger)
 Hopelessly misconceived exercise in celebrity self-worship.
  (A.O. Scott, New York Times)
 There's virtually no story, no conflict, no tension and no suspense, just the endless droning of the worst dialogue written in recent memory.
  (Bill Muller, Arizona Republic)
 Gigli rhymes with ‘really.’ As in ‘really bad,’ or ‘really offensive,’ or ‘really wish I’d remembered my gun so I could just shoot myself now and end the misery.’
  (Laine Ewen, Premiere Magazine)
 I went into Gigli certain that it couldn't be as bad as its reputation. It's worse.
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
College Road Trip (2008)
An irresistible family film that will have all generations laughing ‘til they cry! Martin Lawrence and Raven Symond are a dream comedy team!
 Eyes popping and mouths agape, Martin Lawrence and Raven-Symoné mug their way through College Road Trip as if it were a silent movie - which, come to think of it, would have been a lot less irritating.
 (Jeannette Catsoulis, New York Times)
 The whole project is a cloying, artificial mess. The slapstick comedy doesn't bite, and the formulaic sentimentality doesn't grip.
 (David Hiltbrand, Philadelphia Inquirer)
 The tagline for College Road Trip is "You Can't Get There Fast Enough." But for those who sit through this humorless and massively predictable movie, a more apt phrase would be: "You Can't Get Out of There Fast Enough."
 (Claudia Puig, USA Today)
 Sentimental and chillingly brain-dead.
 (Peter Bradshaw, Guardian)
 A so-called “family movie” that would appeal to no family that I know. This is one of those churn-‘em-out Disney comedies in which every performer seems to be competing to give the most annoying performance in cinematic history.
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon (2011)
Absolutely mind blowing! This is what going to the movies is all about!
 A work of ineffable soullessness and persistent moral idiocy.
 (Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune)
 The picture isn’t just poorly written, with streams of cliché that one can only hope are intended as send-ups of wretched dialogue, but also badly shot and edited.
 (Frank Swietek, One Guy’s Opinion)
 A visually ugly film with an incoherent plot, wooden characters and inane dialog. It provided me with one of the more unpleasant experiences I've had at the movies.
 (Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times)
 One small step for action movies, one giant leap into the abyss of mindlessness.
 (Joe Williams, St. Louis Post-Dispatch)
 In which director Michael Bay perpetrates another junkyard fiasco that turns the volume up to 11 and the IQ to -1.
 (Anthony Quinn, Independent)
 The ethos is perfectly captured in a scene where Ms Huntington-Whiteley poses next to a classic car, and the camera explores her body while another character waxes lyrical about the curves of the chassis. It’s a hi-tech Benny Hill Show, minus the laughs.
 (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)
Angelina Jolie delivers! She was born to play Lara Croft! She's the ultimate superhero.
Dragonfly (2002)
Kevin Costner delivers a very passionate, heartfelt performance! It's one of his best!
Crossroads (2002)
Britney lights up the screen. A very confident and charismatic debut for Britney Spears.
The Sum of All Fears (2002)
Ben Affleck and Morgan Freeman ignite the screen with perfect chemistry.
Nim's Island (2008)
Jodie Foster and Abigail Breslin shine in an adventure for the entire family!
Sex and the City: The Movie (2008)
Run – don’t walk – and bring a friend! Sex and the City is absolute perfection.
Journey to the Center of the Earth 3d (2008)
A fantasy come true for action-adventure fans!
Duplicity (2009)
Julia Roberts is at the top of her game.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Run, don’t walk! This epic has thrills, chills and plenty of romance.
The Invention of Lying (2009)
Funny, poignant and very clever.
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)
More action. More romance. New Moon delivers a powerful and passionate punch.
A Christmas Carol (2009)
A spectacular mind-blowing achievement. Jim Carrey was born to play Scrooge...and is brilliant in several other parts as well.
Leatherheads (2008)
Old Dogs (2009)
Seth Green is a comedy stand-out.
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