movie film review | chris tookey
 
 

David Edwards

 
 

Daily Mirror, UK

 
 
     
 

Quote Whore Quotient : 35

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X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
Great action set-pieces... First-class entertainment.
 
  Little more than a retro-clone, manimal and otherwise, of redundant comic book conventions. And in the process, pounding audiences into multi-sensory submission, until they're too shocked and awed to complain or care.
 
  (Prairie Miller, News Blaze)
 
  The script is simply disastrous. Overloaded with murky, forgettable characters familiar only to fans of the comics, it’s shot through with both narrative inconsistencies and laughably functional dialogue...With some dire blue-screen effects, dizzying tonal instability and a total absence of suspense or originality, Wolverine is something of a disaster.
 
  (Tom Huddleston, Time Out)
 
  Sound and fury signifying virtually nothing.
 
  (Derek Malcolm, Evening Standard)
 
  It’s dull, bone-crushing, special-effects stuff, of interest only to hardcore fans.
 
  (Philip French, Observer)
 
  Even undiscerning fanboys may notice that this doesn’t measure up to the best super-hero movies, such as Spiderman 2 and Batman Begins. It feels twice as long as its 107 minutes. It’s woefully unimaginative, over-dependent on CGI effects, and wantonly wasteful of its big budget and talented cast. And it has only a week to make money in the multiplexes before it is wiped out by Star Trek.
 
  (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
 
3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy (2011)
Crouching Tiger meets The Joy of Sex. An experience you’ll never forget.
 
  3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy fails to live up to either its promise or title.
 
  (Stephen Cole, Toronto Globe and Mail)
 
  An unpredictably bizarre and tonally askew Hong Kong freak show.
 
  (Marc Savlov, Austin Chronicle)
 
  This softcore grot epic has to be seen to be believed - or maybe not, if your sexual politics are more sophisticated than Sid James'.
 
  (Matt Glasby, Total Film)
 
  An Inconvenient Truth is more erotic.
 
  (Jonathan Dean, Sunday Times)
 
  The only ecstasy created comes when you realise, after nearly two hours of suffering, some of it your own, that at last it’s over.
 
  (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
 
Johnny English Reborn (2011)
I haven't laughed so hard since Bridesmaids. ****
 
  The movie no one much liked has a sequel no one asked for.
 
  (Nell Minow, Beliefnet)
 
  Witless, overlong, unfunny and stupid, it's a film so bad it defies understanding.
 
  (Jim Schembri, The Age, Australia)
 
  Johnny English Reborn isn’t funny. At all.
 
  (Simon Brew, Den of Geek)
 
  Wretched… Atkinson himself looks far too old and knackered for this kind of thing.
 
  (Henry Fitzherbert, Sunday Express)
 
  Garbage.
 
  (Antonia Quirke, Financial Times)
 
  An embarrassment, woefully lethargic, boring and unfunny… dated and dead on arrival.
 
  (Chris Tookey, Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Alfie (2004)
A stonkingly good film... Bridget Jones for blokes.
Monster-in-Law (2005)
The funniest movie I’ve seen since Meet The Parents.
A Good Woman (2005)
Wickedly funny romantic comedy.
The Magic Roundabout (2005)
Quite simply, the must-see movie for families this half-term.****
The Da Vinci Code (2006)
Solidly-entertaining, slickly-produced and gorgeously photographed.****
Easy Virtue (2008)
Deliciously funny.
Planet 51 (2009)
A go-see for humanoids of all ages.
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2009)
Heart-stopping, edge-of-your-seat thrills from start to finish.
My Last Five Girlfriends (2009)
Ingenious and very, very funny. ****
Morning Glory (2010)
Witty, warm and downright hilarious.
4.3.2.1 (2010)
An edgy and ambitious crime thriller that feels like a homegrown Tarantino movie.
Arthur Christmas (2011)
A Christmas cracker. *****
Wedding Crashers (2005)
The funniest film I’ve seen all year. Utterly hilarious. ****
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
A two-hour blast of fun sure to delight the kid in all of us.
 
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